Always At Your Side
by VerbogenVerwogen
Summary: We're in this together.


_**Always At Your Side **_

**Disclaimer:** I don't own a thing.

**Warning(s):** mostly introspective, rather simplistic writing style? Characterisation might not be top notch. Self-edited.

**Notes:** This a simple piece; takes place after volume 8 or if you have it, the ending of the anime?

Reviews/concrit/whatever would be nice?

...

Things didn't immediately fall back into place after Muraki's supposed "defeat". Hisoka couldn't exactly place a finger on it, but something tense was in the air: Tsuzuki's willingness to surrender himself to the flames had swept away protection barriers and brought something out into the open that everyone had kept tight-lipped about.

No one spoke about it, carrying on as always in the hopes that normalcy would soon take over regency again; however, it wasn't all that easy.

_(the human heart is wasteland of thrown away memories – a pile of memories that keeps on growing until the stench becomes unbearable). _

Being an empath, Hisoka was more inclined than the usual person to detect changes in the atmosphere and he learnt more about his co-workers' feelings towards Tsuzuki than he had ever wanted to: Tatsumi's conflicted, but strong feelings for Tsuzuki, Watari's grief and anger at not being able to do much, Hajime's sincere concern and so much else that Hisoka found it necessary to maintain distance. Luckily, his colleagues seemed to understand and gave Hisoka the breathing same he needed: they knew that he'd been through a lot. They knew Hisoka needed time to recuperate.

Just like now - sitting in his room and calmly reflecting on things - Hisoka had spent a good portion of the last few weeks re-gaining the energy he'd lost in his pursuit of saving Tsuzuki.

However, not all problems had been solved; when it came to Tsuzuki nothing was easy. Even if he'd wanted to hide, Tsuzuki was the one person Hisoka couldn't avoid - not when the man had become such a great part of his life.

No, it wasn't that Tsuzuki treated him any differently than he had before: he wasn't any colder or ruder towards Hisoka, but still something had changed – something that couldn't be put into words.

Yet, just like the tension hovering over the place as of late, the recent change in their relationship was undeniable: though neither of them talked about it, Hisoka knew he'd crossed a line when he'd made it clear that he was willing to die together with Tsuzuki.

He didn't know what they were right now, but - whatever bond they shared – Hisoka knew it was a meaningful one: a bond he couldn't severe all that easily.

Hisoka sighed loudly; it was starting to irritate him: the tension that no one wanted to address, the changes in his relationship with Tsuzuki and the fact that he seemed powerless to do anything about it.

_Maybe I'm really that use- no, I can't allow myself to think like this! Because then, I'd really be nothing but useless. _

Feeling he needed a breath of fresh air, Hisoka made his way out to the balcony – a balcony that connected his room to Tsuzuki's. Somehow, it had been understood by the others that, though Hisoka needed solitude, he and Tsuzuki should not be parted. Hence, they'd been placed in something of a co-shared apartment, where they had easy access to each other.

It was a pleasantly cool night; crickets were chirruping pleasantly and the moonlight fell here and there, making things sparkle and glitter in the darkness. Hisoka felt his head growing less dizzy and the burden placed on his shoulders felt lighter as well.

Soon, it became evident that Hisoka wasn't the only one who had come out to the balcony.

"Tsuzuki" Hisoka said, having expected to find his partner here – these days, Tsuzuki was often found here, lost in contemplation.

Tsuzuki acknowledged Hisoka with a nod and smiled gently. For the first time in what seemed months, it wasn't forced; Hisoka found himself letting out a sigh of relief.

Hisoka had been growing sick of all those fake smiles – those that revealed cracks in Tsuzuki's mask. Ugly cracks that confirmed Hisoka's worst suspicions because, though Tsuzuki strained himself to smile, the hollow look of sadness and despair never quite faded from his eyes.

At times like these, Hisoka wanted to slap Tsuzuki and shake him so fiercely till that disgusting smile vanished from his features.

_I don't need you to lie. Just be yourself. _

Yes, Hisoka thought as he leaned his palms against the balcony's railing and inhaled the night air, Tsuzuki didn't have to pretend. That wasn't what Hisoka wanted or needed. He needed someone at his side whom he could consider a partner.

Being partners didn't only entail working together, but accepting each other – flaws and emotional baggage included; it meant staying together, despite all the odds and not backing down when things got ugly. When your partner went down, you went down with him.

Hisoka was willing to be all this for Tsuzuki - and he hoped that Tsuzuki would be that for him, too.

No, he knew it wasn't going to be easy: there was a long stretch of road ahead of them. But Hisoka had already made his decision. And, as he observed Tsuzuki, Hisoka knew nothing would make him regret it.

Hisoka knew that he couldn't heal all of Tsuzuki's demons, but he also knew that nothing would make him stop from trying to do so.

Yes, Hisoka thought as he grasped Tsuzuki's hand and held on to it tightly, he wasn't going to give up on this stupid partner of his without a fight.

_We're in this together. _  
...


End file.
